So this is my new pad.
I say ‘my’, clearly it’s my boyfriend’s. No part of this building belongs to me. But I live here so that gives me a licence to decorate… right?
On the outside it’s a pretty ordinary 1960s-70s block. Inside it’s an open-plan cream and wood nightmare. Well, nightmare might be a bit strong. Put it this way: there is a lot of cream and a lot of wood and the whole thing is broken up only by an interlacing mass of black wires which connect the various gadgets that inhabit/dominate the space.
Before I moved in my boyfriend had a flatmate. Two men, late twenties. We’re talking wires, plugs, adaptors, chargers everywhere, small piles of loose change, keys, cufflinks and other misc. pocket-contents on every surface, empty beer bottles lined up literally INCHES from the recycling bin and a constant supply of wet shirts draped over doors, chairs, and mirrors.
I once went into the bedroom to discover my boyfriend had lined up his socks along the bedstead to dry.
“They can’t stay there” I told him. “I’m not going to sleep only to be awoken in the dead of night with a damp sock on my face. What is this, some sort of semi-ethical 60s psychological experiment? ”
“But there’s no room on the rack,” he protested.
That was a fun night.
Anyway, right now, the flat looks like this:
Ok, to be fair, the sofa is amazing. It’s the Stella corner sofa from Sofa.com. The showroom had it in red velvet which was sexy as hell but not quite right for our flat (maybe for the country house, ya?) We went for textured cotton in charcoal.
So sofa = check. The cushions I made and I’m not 100% wild about them but right now they are the only splash of colour or pattern in the entire place. Hmm… let’s move on.
We have a pretty solid dining table and chairs but to be honest all I can see is that vast expanse of BLANK WALL. Someone get the boy a goddamn poster! This flat needs art and pronto (good start with the Mondrian print, though).
Why? Why is there a shirt over the keyboard in the living room? Do these people not own wardrobes? [is what you’d think, if you walked in] Also, why is there a keyboard in front of a lamp in front of a DVD case? Why is the TV bigger than the world? Why is there a random Christmas decoration hanging from the light fitting (top right). Too many questions.
Ugh. That is all.
This is not what a hallway should look like. No, people. THIS is what a hallway should look like:
Sigh. Right… to work.